


Under your skin....... In your head

by Dysha



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: AU, Biphobia, Body Swap, Fighting, mentions of scars, mentions of selfharm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 00:56:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10605957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dysha/pseuds/Dysha
Summary: Liv is tired of Aaron and Robert fighting, and makes a wish.When the wish comes true will it help or break the pair.





	1. The wish

**Author's Note:**

> Rebecca didn't happen in this.

Liv was tired of their constant arguing, their constant bickering and lack of understanding eahother.

She had thought that moving to The Mill would had made a difference. It hadn't, it was the same as before.

She should have gotten used to it by now, sometimes she was alright about it, other times it got too much for her. She cared about both of them and she could see that they love eachother more than anything.

She had thought that maybe fighting was just their _thing_ and it's what they do but sometimes their verbal fights got too much for her and they got nasty.

They had happy moments, ofcause, and they allways ended up in eachothers arms again.

They ussually went to their own bedroom to argue or somewhere they think she wouldn't hear them.S

Sometimes she could hear what they were yelling at eacchother, other times she could only hear shouting on not the words, but she coul allways see the hurt in their eyes, when they would reappear, either together or alone.

They are good people and they had never left her any doubt that they'd care about her. Dispite their arguing they were good for eachother and pretty much made to love oneanother.

 

Liv was going to visit her mom and was leaving tomorrow morning.

She was going to stay with her mom for about a week. Robert had made her favorite food and Aaron had bought her favorite icecream, they always did that when she was going to visit Sandra for more than a couple of days.

She never said it out loud but she appreciated it and it made her feel at home, and her home was and would always be with her brother and Robert.

 

That evening when she had gone to bed, they had a pretty nasty fight, the worst one since forever.

She could hear Robert bringing up Aarons selfharm and Aaron shouting back, that Robert was a calculating cold hearted snake.

What they said made Liv sick to her stomach.

She heard Robert yell:

\- "Oh! you gonna' have a weak moment now and cut yourself when I'm gone! Or are you gonna' switch it up a bit and burn yourself instead!"

Aaron fired back and yelled:

\- "Great Robert, bringing something up I told you about over a week ago! I haven't done anything for along time and you know that!..... Only that I felt like it.... and thank you for throwing it in my face!"

\- "You are weak.... It's easy, just stop doing it!"

There was a pause before Robert shouted:

\- "Pathetic!"

\- "You are worthless!" Aaron shouted back.

And then the door slammed shut and feet were walking fast down the stairs.

The house was quiet now but not the kind of quiet Liv enjoyed.

It was strange to Liv that they argued and fought like that, they could read the other one like an open book, they could say more to eachother whith a nod or a blink than she could ever understand.

Still they kept hurting eachother.

Liv look up at the ceiling and whispered quietly to herself:

\- "I just wish they would try and understand the other one better, I wish they could see how lucky and how much love they have to share."

Liv slowly drifted to sleep.

 

The next morning Liv was packing her bags and looked out the window of her bedroom. It was raining and it looked like a small storm was approaching.

\- "Breakfast LIV!"

\- "Comming!"

She headed down the stairs and saw Robert hunched over the kitchen sink.

\- "You alright?"

\- "Just a headache Liv."

Liv grapped a plate and some toast and sat down at the table opposite Aaron. She noticed that Aaron was looking very pale and didn't really eat anything.

\- "You sick?"

\- "No, yeah, maybe.. Feeling a bit under the weather."

After breakfast they drove to the trainstation and from there on Liv was going to be on her own for a little while.

\- "You sure you are both alright? You look like shit." she said while opening the car door and getting her bags.

\- "Yes we're fine, just a bug. Good thing you won't be here to catch it aswell." Aaron said with a smile on his pale face.

They hugged, said their goodbyes and see you laters.

 

 The car ride home to The Mill was in silence and when they arrived home, they both headed straight to the bedroom.

Aaron took glasses of water with him and once in the beroom he placed them on each of their night stands.

They got undressed, still without having said anything. They got under the duvets and it didn't took long for them to fall asleep.


	2. Day one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit shorter than I had hoped, hopefully I can make the next chapters longer.
> 
> And thank you for the nice comments, I do still get nervous when posting and even writing fics, so it means alot to get feedback/comments from you.  
> :)

The bedroom was quiet, well as quiet as it could be with a storm and heavy rain outside.

The wind had picked up during the day and rain had joined in over the night.

It was still early when Robert had woken up.

He was a little confused as to why he had woken up in Aarons side of the bed and his confusion wasn't stopped, when he saw that they had slept since they had arrived home from  the train station.

He looked over at Aaron, who was complety bundled up in the duvet and not visible at all. He smiled to himself at the sight.

Robert was feeling better than he was yesterday and when he had went to bed. He carefully got out of bed and headed to the bathroom.

He did feel different that usual, he told himself that it was probably still the flu or what ever it was that were lingering in his body.

He got over to the sink in the bathroom, without looking in the mirror and splashed cold water in his face, he closed his eyes while doing so and reached for a towel and dried his face.

**...**

Aaron had woken up, his eyes closed again after he saw that he was in the wrong side of the bed and that Robert wasn't there.

\- "Fuck! Bloody hell!"

Aaron quickly got out of bed and ran to the bathroom, where he had heard Roberts outburst was coming from.

While running to the bathroom it dawned on Aaron that Roberts voice had sounded different.

He reached the bathroom and stood frozen and in shock at what he saw.

Robert stood equally shocked and looked at Aaron.

\- "Please tell me this is a dream." Aaron said and heard that it wasn't his own voice but Roberts voice escaping his mouth.

\- "How... What.. What the hell is going on!" Robert said loudly and slighty panicking.

Aaron stepped closer to Robert, he noticed it was different to when he ussually moved and walked.

He now stood directly in front of Robert.

\- "Ow!" Robert said and rubbed is arm where Aaron had given him a little slap.

\- "I guess this isn't a dream after all." Aaron said.

...

 

They had walked to the living room and were sitting in the sofa, both had no idea what to say, what to do, what to think.

Robert broke the silence:

\- "We have to call in sick."

\- "Why?"

\- "I can't go anywhere like this." Robert replied while gesturing dramatically to the body he was in.

\- "Thanks mate.. Thought you like the way I look." There weren't any hint of flirting in the way he said it, only a bit of hurt, badly disguised as a joke.

\- "You know what I mean! I'll have to call on your behalf to Adam and vice versa... This is so messed up!"

He got his phone and gave it to Aaron and Aaron gave his to Robert. 

\- "Remember to use words I would use."

\- "I'm not an idiot Robert!" Aaron frowned.


	3. Day one and first night

They had made their phomecall but not without glitches.  
Robert has sounded too posh at times and way too business like, he had recieved small kiks from Aaron when he slipped up.  
Aaron had sounded too grumpy and too impatient and Robert had looked angry at Aaron and hid his face in his hands.  
They got through it and sat in silence at the kitchen table with a cup of tea.

\- "How is this real? How.."  
Robert said looking at the cup of tea in fron of him  
\- "This, doesn't even taste the same."  
\- "No idea but this isn't a dream." Aaron replied.  
\- "I know! Tou slapping me felt pretty real to me." Robert said angrily.  
\- "Hey mate! This isn't my fault, so stop kicking of at me."  
\- "We have to undo this and fast. I have things to do and work." Robert said still very frustraited and had chosen to ignore Aaron's comment.  
\- "We can't hide in here 'till it's over Robert." Aaron said sharply an looking at Robert with a stern look.  
\- "Why not?" Robert said sounding genuinely confused.  
Aaron gave Robert a look, that tol him that he was being an idiot.  
Robert let out a breath.  
\- "I am not going anywhere today. I guess you're right though... Oh stop it.. I can admit when I'm slightly wrong. Anyways, we have to ome up with a plan."

\- "A plan?" Aaron said with a frown.  
\- "Yes Aaron a plan! We have to act like normal, I mean as eachother, so my plan is to practise, maybe..."  
\- "You have to be kidding me?!"  
\- "What? If I, I mean you as me show up walking like you ussually do, people are going to think..."  
Robert didn't get the chance to finish his plan. Aaron had gotten up and was clearly not happy with Robert.  
\- "Where are you going? We have to.."  
\- "We don't have to do anything, you are doing well with your plan all by yourself."

\- "Urgh, come on Aaron."  
\- "No! You are busy with telling me what to do and telling me that what I do is wrong. That's your plan isn't it? Kepping up appearences, make sure you don't lose face."  
They were both getting more and more frustrated with eachother.  
\- "No, not like that.. But you have to act like me and I'm the only one who can tell you how."

\- "It goed both ways you know! and Well maybe if you were more like me, people would like you more. Everything I do is not wrong!" Aaron shouted and he was hurt.  
\- "What ever! You were leaving, so go ahead!" Robert shouted back.

Aaron went to their bedroom and Robert stayed.

\--

Robert had moved to the sofa, layed down and turned on the TV. He wasn't really paying attention to it. He was angry, confused about Aaron not being able to see that he was only trying to help.

A couple of hours had passed and Robert woke when he felt a hand on his arm. He opened his eyes and saw Aaron sitting on the sofa watching him.  
Robert sat up. Neither of them said anything as they moved closer to eachother and rested their headd against the other.  
Sometime this was their way of saying sorry and call it truce. Sometime after a row, this was the best way to do so.

After a while Aaron was the one who broke the silence.  
\- "Don't think I'll get used to this." He said putting a hand on Robert's, well technically his own face.  
\- "I know what you mean."  
They both let out a little chuckle.

They agreed to not talk about whatever has happened to them and they agreed to talk about it all tomorrow.

They ate their dinner, watched TV, they didn't say alot to eachother, neither of them hardly spoke.  
They were both aware that the other one was thinking about how to deal with t all, and prepare themselves for tomorrow, when they had to really talk about it. For now they were too tired, and for now they were okay with waiting.

\--

They got to bed, they took their usual sides of the bed.  
Robert took the T-shirt of. He's about to climb in to bed, when he sees Aaron staring at him.  
Aaron walks closer to Robert. He reached out to touch what once was his body.  
\- "Never seen them like this before... Looks uglier from this side." He said quiet and thoughtfully.  
Robert grabs Aarons hand.  
\- "I don't think so. I like to watch you getting undressed and ready for bed, well before this." He steppped closer to Aaron.  
\- "Now I quite like looking in the mirror." He said with a smirk and a wink.  
\- "You are unbelieveble." Aaron laughs.

They don't kiss, the both silently agreed that it was still too weird and maybe like kissing yourself.  
\- "Let's hope it's all back to normal tomorrow."  
\- "Mmh. Goodnight Robert."


	4. Practice day

\- "Do it... Come on do it." Aaron said taunting Robert.

\- "No."

\- "Just do it." Aaron looked at Robert with a mischievious glint in his eyes.

\- "... Okay." Robert said unsure.

He put his hands in front of him, laying them on the kitchen table.

\- "Here it goes."

Robert reached his hand to the bowl of cereal in front of him. He lifted the bowl with both hands and put it to his lips and slurped. All while Aaron had looked intensely at Robert.

Aaron started to laugh at the pure disgust in Robert's face at what he had just done.

\- "Very satisfying isn't it." Aaron said while trying to hide his laughter.

\- "This is stupid." Robert said annoyed and got up from the chair.

\- "Hey! You were the one who said we should practice... It's _your_ plan." Aaron said with a wide grin.

Robert's previous annoyed tone and look on his face shifted to something more playful as he said:

\- "You're right."

He quickly turned around and ran up the stairs, leaving a baffled Aaron behind.

 

\- "oh Aaaron." Robert called from upstairs, the playfullness still evident in his voice.

\- "Come to the bedroom."

Aaron shook his head and went up the stairs. As Aaron reached the door to the bedromm, something hit him in the face.

\- "What the hell Robert!"

Aaron looked at what was thrown.

\- "You _got_ to be kidding me?!"

Aaron started to turn around and walk out the door but was stopped by a firm grip on his shoulder.

\- "No you don't... I just made out with a bowl of cereal... so now _you_ do this." Robert said grinning at Aaron, looking forward to his payback for Aaron.

Aaron shot Robert an annoyed look and shook his head, he wasn't getting out of this.

He took the item Robert had thrown and headed to the bathroom.

Robert sat on the edge of the bed and waited, the smile never left his eyes.

 

A couple of minutes later he heard steps comming towards the bedroom.

\- "I know I'm not in my own skin and it's what _you_ ussually wear... but seriously Robert, it's hiddeuous!"

Aaron finnally stepped in to the room wearing a mint green buttoned shirt with small blue and yellow flowers.

Robert grinned at got up from the edge of the bed.

\- "What you on about, it's a great shirt."

\- "No." Aaron said matter of factly.

\- "It's what _I_ wear Aaron."

\- "It's stll weird. It's your body but I'm still _me_ and _this_ is _so_ ugly."

\- "Shut it you." Robert laughed and added:

\- "I have plenty of more of what that came from."

Aaron got over to the bed and threw himself on it and looked up at the ceiling.

Robert took another colourful shirt out from his side of the closet.

\- "Maybe _you_ should try it." Robert said with a wink and lifted the hem of the black long sleeved shirt he was wearing.

Aaron quickly got up from the bed and grabbed the shirt out of Roberts hands and threw it on the floor.

\- "No chance in hell!... Wear this." Aaron said and threw a black hoodie at Robert.

Robert let out a breath.

\- "Great... What a surprise, it's black."

\- "Oy you!" Aaron said pushing Robert gently against one of the cupbords.

Robert intinctly put his hands on Aaron's hips to balance himself.

They looked eachother in the eyes and then Aaron stepped away and walked towards the door.

With his back turned away from Robert, he said:

\- "It's still too weird."

\- "Yeah I know." Robert replied.

Robert secretly wishing that Aaron would stop thinking of it as weird and strange.

Robert craved a kiss from his husband and eventhough it was Robert's body, it was still his Aaron on the inside.

 

\--

 

Robert went down the stairs and could hear that Aaron was in the living room, so he walked over there.

Robert stopped in his track.

\- "What are you doing?"

Aaron was standing with a mirror in his hand and was making faces.

\- "Trying to get used to this." He said poiting to his, well Roberts face.

\- "Okay.. What face are you actually trying to make?" Robert asked.

\- "That." Aaron said and put the mirror in front of Robert.

Robert then scoffed and had a hint of laughther on his lips.

\- "Clearly that look doesn't work for me! When you scowl and have that smouldering look on your face and the body language to back it up, you look dead sexy... I look like a dying, constipated fish."

Aaron looked in the mirror and tried again and started to laugh uncontrollable.

Robert stepped closer to Aaron and grabbed his shoulders, Aaron stopped lauging but still had a genuine smile on his face and eyes.

Robert stepped even closer.

\- "Don't."

\- "I know it's strange...But when I hear you laugh I don't hear myself, I don't see me.. I see you, just you Aaron."

Roberts hand reached up to cup his cheek and Aaron closed his eyes, enjoying the touch, when their lips touched Robert closed his eyes aswell.

It wasn't like kissing yourself.

The few seconds the tender and gentle kiss lasted, it was like they were back in their own body.

They slowly stopped the kiss and with their eyes still closed, they rested their foreheads together and just stood there in a comfortable silene, relishing in the feeling of eahother and the lingering sensation of the kiss they just shared.

 

\---

 

\- "You ready?"

\- "I think so... Why skype?"

\- "She wanted to see us and well she's my sister.."

\- "Aw you miss her."

\- "Shut up."

 

Both of them sat in front of the computer, both of them nervous.

They had practiced all day, how to walk, how to talk and they felt like they had it under control, but now sitting and waiting for Liv to call, they didn't feel so confident anymore.

 

\- "You think she'll know? That she can tell that.." Robert cut himself off.

\- "No... Well  _this_ isn't really going to be anyones first guess if they think we are ating a bit strange."

Robert huffed out a laugh and Aaron contiued.

_ "And besides, skype is good, she'll se us and I guess it'll help us to get used to people seeing us like this.. We can't stay in here Robert."

\- "I know... You are very calm about this." Robert said raising an eyebrow.

\- "I thought I was the calm one, I usually am."

\- "Hah! Yeah right... The first thing you did was to sream... Way to be calm."

\- "I didn't scr.."

 

Liv's name popped up n the screen.

They nodded to eachother and took her call.

 

\- "Hi Liv!" 

They greeted her _way_ too enthusiastic and they both knew and glanced sideways to eachother.

\- "Wow, calm down.. What are you wearing Robert!"

Aaron started to laugh and Robert scowled and gave Aaron a  kick under the table.

.

Liv looked at her screen, not sure about what just happened , finding their reactions a bit off.

 

They talked for about half an hour and during their conversation about anything and everything, she couln't stop thinking that they were acting strange.

At least they weren't fighting.

She saw Robert biting his lower lip, like Aaron usually do. She shook it off as them adopting eachothers habits, they had known eachother for quite some time.

 

They all said their goodbues and see you laters. When Liv was about to end the call, Aaron and Roberts camera went black, but she heard Robert's voice yelling  _'Robert'_  in an annoyed tone.

That had her confused. She knew that Robert had his moments of being way to full of himself, but blurting out his own name, out of nowere, that was new.

 

\--

 

\- "That went well... right?"

Aaron asked looking at Robert, hoping he'd agree and he did.

 

\- "So... you think we're ready? for going out in the real world?"

Aaron shrugged his shoulders.

\- "We have to be.. Can't afford staying home, and told Adam that I was feeling better, so.

-"About that... You are aware that you can't go to the scrapyard.?"

Aaron looked confused at Robert and Roberts waited for Aaron to get it.

And the penny dropped.

\- "Guess the practice day isn't over yet."

Robert got up and put a pile of paperwork on the table in front of the Aaron.

Aaron put his head down on the table an let out a breath.

It was going to be a long day.

 


	5. First day at work, the scrapyard

They woke up and took turns getting ready in the bathroom.

They had instinctly reached for the wrong clothes and had only realised their mistake when turning to look at the other.

With heavy sighs they had swithed clothes.

 

They made breakfast and tried to get the last preperations in order for their day out, while eating breakfast.

Everything was done in silence, they hadn't uttered a word to eachother since they woke up.

Maybe it wasn't the best day they had chosen to get out in the real world. Both had important meetings.

Robert was meeting a man who Aaron had met with and today he was coming to the scrapyard to get the final details in order and then sign the papers.

Aaron was going to Leeds and hopefully get a good deal from the people Robert had tried to woo for a long time now.

 

\- "You ready?" -

"I think so." Aaron said while taking a bite of his toast, his eyes focuse on the paperwork infront of him.

\- "You think so? It's an important meeting Aaron."

\- "I know, don't worry, they'll sign." Aaron said, trying to ignore Robert's tone of voice.

\- "I've worked for this Aaron... They _have_ to sign the papers... So don't undo the work I've done."

Aaron huffed out a breath.

\- "Thanks for the trust mate."

Robert frowned at the word 'mate'.

\- "Sorry." Robert said in an almost whisper.

\- "So you ready?" Robert tried again carefully.

\- "Yes Robert! I'll leave when I'm done eating, If that's alright with you?!" Aaron said irritated.

\- "Good... Call when you get there and when the meeting's done."

\- "Robert I got this.. okay?"

\- "Okay.. Your guy is coming at the scrapyard at nine, right?"

Robert asked looking at Aaron, who was still focused on the papers in front of him.

\- "Yeah. Adam will be there later.. Like I told you, it's pretty much a done deal."

\- "I know, I did my homework." Robert's tone sounded a bit annoyed.

Aaron shot Robert an angry look.

Robert got up from his chair and put away is plate anddrank the last of his coffee.

\- "I'll better get ready then, get dressed and then I'm leaving."

Aaron looked up and down Robert confused and said:

\- "You're already dressed, you know, you don't need a suit for this."

\- "I know that... Can't really meet a client and _this_ is the first thing that they see."

Aaron looked at Robert, he was wearing a black t-shirt, which Aaron did occasional wear at the scrapyard. Aaron's eyes hadn't left Robert, he didn't really know what to say. Robert interrupted Aaron's thoughts before they got to negative.

\- "So.. Where's your longsleeved ones?"

Robert was already beginning to go up the stairs, his back towards Aaron.

Aaron said nothing, he still couldn't believe what Robert had just said.

Aaron thought: ' Was it a dig or was he really unaware of what he had just said?' Aaron got up, gathered the paperwork, put on Robert's suit jacket and put the car keys in the pocket.

\- "You'll find it... I'm going."

\- "What? no good luck?" Robert shouted from the top of the stairs. Still oblivious about his earlier words.

Robert didn't get a chance to say any more, Aaron had gone, with a slam of the door.

Robert walked to the bedroom and found on of Aaron's longsleeved shirts that wasn't black. It was a light grey one, with a cpouple of buttons at the front.

 

Robert had noticed Aaron's sudden change of mood, right before he had pratically stormed out the door. Robert put it down to Aaron being nervous.

 

..

Robert was at the scrapyard, it was almost nine and he was sat at Aaron's desk waiting.

He told himself over and over again that Aaron only need a signature, and it was pretty much it, no sweet talk, no bussiness talk.

 

Robert was nervous.

 

He saw a car pull up at the porta-cabin and he got up from the desk, got to the door and let out a breath, triyng to get rid of the nerves.

Robert opened the door and was met with asmiling middle aged man.

 

\- "Hiya mate!"

The man, Richard, greeted him and went to shake Robert's hand.

 

\- "Hi...Richard...Come in." Robert said trying to hide how out of place and nervous he felt.

 

Robert went to Aaron's desk and got the papers.

\- "So here it is, just need to sign."

A puzzled look appeared on Richard's face.

\- "You in a hurry today?"

\- "Sorry?"

\- "You haven't even offered me a cuppa." Richard said with a small laugh.

\- Oh yeah, sorry... milk, sugar?"

\- "Milk, thanks."

Robert put the kettle on and shook his head, telling himself to get a grip.

His thought were interrupted by Richard.

 

\- "How's married life treating you? still good?"

\- "Yeah, still good."

\- "Where's the husband today then?"

Somehow it's suprised Robert that Aaron would tell a seemingly stranger anything about his personal life, and that he was married to a man.

\- "Leeds." Robert crocked out.

\- "He's got an important meeting... He's worked hard for it."  
Robert decided to add the latter, not knowing what Aaron had told Richard about him,  make himself look good and ambitious.

He also added the last part because he realised that his sentences had been a bit too short, even for Aaron.

 

Robert went to the kettle, got two cups out and added a bit of milk to Richard's and hended it to him.

Richard nodded a thsnk you to Robert.

\- "Yeah, I remember you mentioning it.."

Richard took a sip of the hot drink.

\- "You seemed sure about him nailing it then, you don't seem so sure now."

Robert couldn't stop thinking, How many times had Aaron met with Richard, how many times have they spoken to eachother. I didn't sound like Aaron, that he would share all that. Aaronwas a private person. Himself never really mentioned his personal life infront of potential bussiness partners/clients.

 

After a maybe too long pause Robert answered Richard:

\- "Uhm.. I'm.. I know he'll do good."

\- "You'll finally get to seem him again then, when the deal's done.. You know when he's not spending all his time on it anymore."

\- "Yeah." Was all Robert could say.

 

Robert hadn't thought about it, maybe he had spend every waking moment working on that deal but Aaron haven't said anything about it, haven't complained.

Richard signed the papers and said they'll meet up againin a couple of week and that he would like ti me the man thathad put money in the scrapyard to begin with, the husband.

 

Adam showed up twenty minutes after Richard had left.

 

\- "Hiya Dingle-lad! Richard's been?"

Robert found Adam to be way too happy at 10 in the morning.

\- "Yeah, he signed."

\- "Of course he did.. Let's hope you worked your magic and he'll keep us for longer this time."

Robert looked confused at Adam.

\- "This time?"

Adam just laughed at him and got his work gloves.

\- "Come on lad, let's get busy!"

\- "Yeah be there in a minute."

Adam went outside.

 

Had they be dealing with Richard before? Robert couln't remember Aaron mentioning a Richard.

Robert's couriosity took over and he went looking for papers with Richard's name on it, oor his company name.

 

Robert founf some deals Adam had made with Richard but they were only for a couple of weeks tops, there was one with Aaron's name signed on it, for a couple of months, longer thatn any of Adams deals.This one he just made, with Aaron's signature, or Robert's attempt to make Aaron's signature was for 12 months.R

Richard and Aaron did seem to be more alike that Adam and Richard. Robert thought that maybe Adam and Aaron had noticed that and that's why Aaron was the one who had dealt with Richard an his company this time around.

Robert smiled to himself, who knew, bussiness savy Aaron.

 

Robert went out to help Adam dismember the cars and other metal objects.

..

Robert and Adam had been working outside for almost two hours.

Lucky for Robert Adam was on the other side of the yard and had been running in and out the porta-cabin, so thay had hardly spoken.

Robert had to admit that he couldn't really keep up with the banther Aaron and Adam had going on.

 

The physical work at the scrapyard, the heavy lifting and smashing of the cars, had come as a bit of a surprise for Robert, but in a good way. It was  _hard_ work, reallt har work.

With Aaron's body and mucsles, he was able to do so much.

Usully he would avoid any physical labor and rope Aaron in to doing it.

All that was easy now. Robert knew that Aaron was strong, but it  did come as a bit of a  surprise as to how physical strong Aaron actually is.

 

Afetr a couple of hours more, Robert and Adam decided to get a uppa in the porta-cabin.

 

\- "I see that Robert's finally rubbed off on you." Adam said with a smile followed by a frown.

\- "What?"

\- You seem a bit different."

 

Robert's nerves was back. Did Adam know, was it that easy to see. No, no , Robert told himself, it wouldn't be the first thing on peoples minds. Would it? No, no.

 

\- "Yeah, you seem a bit more, I don't know.... Stuck up." Adam laughed.

For a moment Robert forgot and answered as himself.

\- "I'm not stuck up."

Luckily Adam din't seem to see it like that.

 

\- "SOrry mate, you seem off."

\- "Tired... do one."

\- "Oy mate!" Adam laughed.

\- "Shouldn't you get on with it?" Robert said and nodded int he direction of the door.

\- "What ever." Adam replied, got up and went out the door.

Robert let out a sigh of relief.

 

 

 

 


	6. First day at work, after hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The couple's experiencing hints of their partners feelings and emotions, having to deal with that aswell as their own is proving difficult, especially for Robert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> needed a bad-guy, so I picked Nicola, as she's always very blunt in what she's saying. I could have picked Rebecca, but didn't really want her in this story.

Adam and Robert had finished work and Robert had declined going to the pub for a pint.  
Aam had called him boring and blamed Robert for it.  
Robert had shook his head, he really wanted to defend himself but he reeled himself in and put on Aaron's grumpy face.  
Aaron had texted him when he had arrived in Leeds. Robert had not heard anything else from Aaron.

Robert was tired and just wanted to go home, he had a headache, a strange sensation not only in his body but everywhere and his arms were sore.

He pulled up at the Mill and got in and immediately headed for the sofa and slouched on it.  
He was hungry but he didn't want to move and he knew that they didn't have anything in the fridge.  
He could wait for Aaron to come home and he could get Aaron to do the grocery shopping. Robert didn't really want to face the village alone.

Robert tried to relax on the sofa but it was getting difficult, his hunger was getting stronger and stronger. He never really got this hungry.  
Again he had almost forgotten that he wasn't in his own body.  
He was really hungry, he now understood why Aaron was always eating.  
Robert had to go out, he didn't want to.  
He grunted, got up and went out the door. As he was locking the door he caught himself in the reflection of the glas. He was standing too straight, his posture was wrong. He shook his shoulders and got the right Aaron posture and walked out to the driveway.

\- "Hi love!"  
'Chas!' Roberts thought screamed at him. He had to concentrate now. He knew he shouldn't have left the comfort of the Mill.  
\- "Hiya. What do you want?"  
\- "Nice to see you in such a cheery mood for once." Chas said sarcastically.  
\- "Where you going?"

\- "David's.. Hungry and we have nothing in."  
\- "Okay, I'll walk with you."  
\- "Don't have to."  
Chas looked at him.  
\- "I know.. But I want to.. You alright?" She said with love and concern.  
\- "Yeah... Like I told you, just hungry."

The walk to David's was in silence.

When they arrived at David's, Robert took a shopping basket and then tried to shuffle himself away from Chas and anyone else for that matter. Robert wanted as little contact with other people as possible.

He wasn't somfortable likr this, he knew he had been harsh on Aaron while they had practised the other day. He knew he had told Aaron of when he had made the smallest mistakes at being Robert. He had not let Aaron dop the same, he had not given Aaron the chance to correct him. He felt selfcontios an uncomfortable, he didn't feel in control. He had been way too harsh on Aaron he knew r´that. He just couldn't stop himself. The lack of control made him lash out more. To Robert the first thing people see is important and has to be perfect, even though what's underneath might not be.

Robert wanted to get this shopping over with fast, he wasn't in the mood for small talk. he wasn't in the mood for pretending. He wanted to be himself at home, with Aaron.  
Somehow Chas ad manage to get over to Robert and stand next to him, without him noticing. Robert had been too focused on staying clear from everyone, lucky there weren't many in the shop.  
\- "Wow, Robert's really gotten to you." Chas said to a sligtly startled Robert. Chas had picke up te organic salmon from Robert's shopping basket, while she gave a small laugh.  
Robert looked at herand gave the best annoyed-Aaron face he could muster and he grabbed the salmon out of her hand and threw it back in his basket. Quickly he turned around towards the milk, not giving Chas a chance to respond.

Robert had finally found everything he and they needed and headed towards David, where Chas was standing talking to Tracy.  
David took Robert's groceries and one by one put them in i a bag, in Robert's eyes he took way to long doing so.  
Robert got out his wallet and heard a sharp voice behind him.

\- "Kicked him out yet?"  
Robert turned around to face Nicola.  
\- "What?"  
\- "Just saying.. Stil, I'm glad I didn't get the bets rolling." Nicola chuckled to herself and contiued:  
\- "I'ved bet he'd screwed up a long time ago."  
\- "oy" Shut it you!" Chas said loudly.  
David continued to sort Robert's things and Tracy had stepped behind the counter to stand next to her husband. Both of them quiet.  
\- "You know I'm right. He'll meet someone, if he haven't already and clearly he's not picky. That's what they do."  
\- "They?" Robert asked quietly.  
Chas was looking intensely at the man she thought was her son, not sure what he would do.  
Chas had begun moving closer to Nicolabut Robert had hurriedly payed David, got the grocery bags and left the shop, without saying anything, not even a sigh.

\- "Why didn't you say anything?"  
Robert was puzzled by her words.  
Like Aaron would ever say anything, Aaron thought the same things as Nicola, he was sure of that. Robert's thoughts was interrupted by Chas.  
\- "Doesn't seem like you to let a comment like that slide."  
Robert felt confused, anger was now pulsing through him, more intense than usual.  
\- "You've said the same things!" His reply was laced with anger and hurt.  
Thoughts about a onversation between Aaron and Chas came back to him. He wasn't meant to hear anything, they didn't know he was there.  
Chas had said vile things about Robert regarding his sexuality. At that time, a long time ago, he wasn't sure about it himself, he knew, but he didn't want to say it out loud.  
\- "I know love. That was years ago.."

He turned around, he didn't want to hear any more. he wanted to go home.  
Robert was stopped by Chas' hand on his shoulder, she turned him around and pulled him in for a hug.  
\- "I'm proud of you."  
FOr a second Robert couldn't move, couldn't say anthing. He didn't say anything when he was able to move again, he just turned, no smile, nothing.  
As he walked to The Mill, Robert had no control over over his thoughts or what he was feeling.

.

 

Robert made dinner, he was on autopilot, he didn't think about what he was doing.  
He hadn't heard anything from Aaron since this morning. Robert had texted Aaron about Richard signing, no reply back.  
It was like he had every emotion bubling inside him, every last one was fighting to get out.  
He knew he was angry.

He had set the table and was about to put the food on the table, hoping Aaron wouldn't be long, when he heard the front door open.  
It was Aaron.  
Robert noted that he looked happy and that he was smiling but Robert couldn't take it in liek he usually could.  
\- "Hi." Aaron said, still smiling as he took the jacket of. Aaron looked at the table and the food as he walked over to Robert.  
\- "Smells nice." He said while leaning in for a hug, a hug Robert refused. Aaron took a step back and narrowed is eyes slightly.  
\- "Bought you something." He said and the smile was back.  
Robert couldn't hold it any longer.  
\- "Something to make your self feel better?"  
\- "What?" Aaron was confused.  
\- "For not calling me.. I told you to call me!"  
\- "I wanted to surprise you." Aaron's voice was small.  
It was like Robert wasn't listening, the anger he felt was clouding his hearing and judgement.  
\- "You probably screwed up the deal. Bringing a cheap, tacky gift won't help!"  
Aaron contiued to look at Robert, he was confused, yet he thought he could recognize something in Robert. Aaron still had no idea of what could have set Robert off like this.  
\- "I told you to call me." Robert repeated.  
\- "Again Robert, I wanted to surprise you.. They signed.. I'm trying to show you that I'm proud of you."  
Robert huffs, thinking back t when Chas had said it, eventhough it wasn't aimed at him.  
\- "What's up with you? I know it's not Richard, he signed..."  
Robert didn't say anything.  
\- "And your people couldn't stop complimenting you."

There was a pause, Robert looking at the wall behind Aaron and Aaron focusing on Robert.

\- "Dinner's made.. Help yourself, I'm going to bed, headache."  
Robert turned around and walked past Aaron without looking at him.  
\- "Robert talk to me."  
\- "No! You know you have it so easy!"  
His anger and unindentified emotions rusking to get out at the same time, and guilt.  
Aaron walked closer to Robert and reached for Robert's arms. Aaron pulled the sleeves up and stroked his own scars.  
\- "Yeah, I can see that." Aaron's voie was soft and calm. Maybe more calm that he himself thought he would be.  
Robert ignored what he knew was the right thing to do and say.  
\- "Making this all about you. Typical! This is your thing. I don't get all patheti and cut myself when I have a bad day! And that's what today has been, not that you'd care to ask!"  
Aaron had let go of Roberts arms and looked at him in disbelief. Then every emotion left Aaron's face, he looked at Robert and said stone faced:  
\- "You're right, it's about you, sorry."  
Aaron took a rectangulat box out of the backpocket of the trousers he was wearing and handed it to Robert. Robert looked at the box, not making any move to open it.  
\- "Congratulations on your big deal, sorry about you having a bad day.. I'll grab a six-pack at David's and me and you can..."  
"Dinner's ready now, it'll get even colder by the time you're back." Anger still evident in his voice.  
\- "You-You can come with me and..."  
\- "I'm not going out there again."  
\- "Rob.."  
\- "No!"  
At the same time as he shouted the word, he threw the gift from Aaron across the room and stomped up the stairs.

Aaron was in shock at Robert's behaviour, angry and hurt.

Aaron didn't want to be in the house right now and he left.


	7. Robert's day in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adam didn't kiss Vanessa in this

Robert woke up and instinctly reached for the other side of the bed.   
It was cold. He rolled over and opened his eyes. Aaron's side had clearly not been slept in. 

He might have overreacted a tiny bit last night but in that moment he couldn't help himself, well he could have if he had tried hard enough, he knew that, the thought of doing so at the time just seemed too exhausting.

Robert got up and threw on some clothes, Aaron's clothes.  
Robert hated sleeping alone. He knew he had to find Aaron, talk to him.  
He wandered down the stairs and headed to the kitchen and the coffee machine and turned in on.  
He got his phone out and was about to call Aaron.

\- "What did my brother do now?"

Robert was startled and quickly turned around.  
\- "Vic! Ever heard of knocking?! You can't just barge in!"

Victoria walked closer and gave him a stubborn look.  
\- "So, tell me what's going on and why he slept on my sofa."  
Robert let out a sigh of relief, knowing that Aaron had been with Victoria and maybe Adam aswell, and that he was safe.

Robert sucked in some air and proceeded to scowl at Victoria, remembering that in Vic's eyes he was Aaron.  
\- "Don't give me that look... what's going on?"  
The first part was said in a stern tone, while the latter was soft and caring.  
Victoria moved to the kitchen table and sat down in one of the chairs. She continued to stare at him, waiting for him to give in and tell her what had happened.

Robert was a bit annoyed with her. She had showed up unannounced and had jumped to the conlusion that it was Robert that was in the wrong. Robert wondered about what Aaron had told her.

\- "It's nothing.. you can leave now."  
\- "Hey you! I'm trying to help you know.. He's my brother and you are my best mate.. So you gonna tell me?"

Robert didn't say anything and moved to the coffeemachine and got two cups out.  
He put the cup of coffee on the table in front of Victoria and he sat down on the chair opposite her.  
Robert curled his hands around the warm cup and they sat in silence.

Victoria still waiting to know what had happened and Robert deep in thought about how to tell her.  
How was he going to tell her about yesterday? He couldn't really tell it from his perspective, it wouldn't make sense to her and she might get suspicious and he really didn't want anyone to know about what was happening to himself and Aaron.

Robert let out a deep breath. He hoped this would work. That he knew Aaron well enough to pull it off and Victoria wouldn't all him out on his bluff.

\- "He had a meeting in Leeds. A very important one. I had a deal to be signed at the scrapyard. Both things went well but Robert was in a right mood when he got home.

He quickly looked at Victoria, she had a look of thoughtfullness on her face.  
\- "That's it?"  
She looked at him like she knew that there was more to it than that.

\- "Yes and you could just ask him you know." Robert snapped at her.  
Vic took at sip of her coffe.  
\- "I could, and I have... Didn't get me anywhere."  
\- He's not told you anything?"  
Robert really thought that Aaron would have said something.  
\- "No.. He just went quiet and moody, I swear you two are like morphing in to one person."  
Robert almost choked on his coffee and starred open mouthed at Victoria. 'Did she know?'  
\- "Right pair of old married couple." she laughed and smiled , a smile that reached her eyes.

Robert closed his eyes, thankfull that she hadn't caught on and then realising what she had said.  
\- "We're not old." He muttered under his breath but she had heard and smiled at him.

\- "He was angry that I hadn't called or texted him all day, eventhough I promised."   
\- "Oh."  
Robert was unsure how to contiue, he knew how he had felt and what he himself had done that day but he didn't know about Aaron. He didn't want to slip up by mixing up his and Aaron's actions and words.  
\- "I got him a present.. You know to celebrate."  
Robert noticed his tone of voice, or Aaron's tone of voice. It was frail. Exactly how he felt, but he would always try and cover it up. Somehow being in Aaron's body he found that difficult and not really a choice to sound hurt and fragile.

Victoria snapped him out of his thoughts.  
\- "Aw look at you, Aaron the supportive husband." She said lovingly.  
Robert frowned at her and scratched his arm.  
\- "What did you get him?"  
Robert scratched his arm again. He didn't want to answer,he couldn't, he had hoped she wouldn't ask.  
\- "Uhm, it's personal."  
Robert really hoped that it was, othervise he, or rather Aaron, once they were back to normal, wouldn't hear the end of it.  
Robert sucked in a breath. Knowing what he was about to say made him feel guilt.  
\- "He didn't open it.. He threw it across the room."  
Victoria looked at him, her eyes wide.  
\- "That idiot.. I know he's my brother but.. That's a bit of an overreation to say the least."  
Robert bowed his head, ashamed and angry, he wasn't sure why he was angry.  
\- "I know."  
\- "You'll get through it. He must have had a bad day to begin with. He loves you, no doubt about that, okay?"  
\- "Yeah."  
\- "Talk to him?"  
\- Ofcourse I will si.. Vic."   
'Shit, Robert get it right.'  
Robert shook his head, he didn't want to talk about it anymore.   
Maybe waiting to call Aaron was a good idea, give him tme to cool down and give himself time to figure out how to apologise and find the gift from Aaron, which was still on the floor somewhere.  
\- "So you allright?"  
Vic sensed that "Aaron" was done talking about last night and replied:  
\- "Yeah, I guess.. Fine yeah."  
\- "Vic."  
\- Okay, well not much has happened since last time. Well Adam is more open to the idea of, you know, now."  
Robert was confused and no, he had no idea of what she was talking about and what she could talk to Aaron about and not him, and what could they talk about that Aaron wouldn't tell Robert.

\- "Uhm, what, what has he said?"  
Robert tried, hoping it wouldn't give anything away.  
\- "Well, you know nothing has worked and the tests came bak and... Adam was devastated."  
Robert could see that his sister was trying hard to put on a brave face. He still had no idea what it could be that amde his sister like that but he knew it was something important.  
\- He's getting there I think.. We have a meeting with an agency.. We both agreed that it couldn't harm to call them.. Your little peptalk hepled him I reckon.  
'Agency?' Robert couldn't piece it all together yet.  
Victoria sighed and looed over at the picture with all the Sugdens.  
'Adoption. Why would she talk to Aaron about that, and not me?' Robert knew that Vic and Aaron were close friends but neither of them had mentioned anything to him about it.

\- "I know you told me that.. what's going on with Robert and Andy has more to it than Andy being adopted but... I still worry Aaron."  
Robert felt his throat burn and his eyes close to tears. 'That's why no one has told me.'  
\- "I.. He would love the baby just the same Vic."  
Robert tried with all his being to hold bak the tears. He didn't like that his sisters was worried about his thought about adopting, that he made her feel like that.  
\- "I know, you told me that already."  
Robert smiled back at Victoria.  
\- "I still worry though, it's foolish I know.."  
Victoria didn't get the chane to finish as Robert had pulled himself of the chair and had hoisted Vic up in a tight hug.  
Vic laughed.  
\- "What's gotten in to you."  
She looked him in the eyes.  
\- "I swear you are getting more and more alike and soppy."  
She didn't let go, she needed the hug.  
\- "You don't have to worry about anything, you and Adam will be fine." Robert whispered in her ear.  
\- "Thank you Aaron, you're a great mate."  
They pulled apart and sat down again. Vic drank the last of her coffe.  
\- "So, are you gonna call him, or swing by?"  
\- "I'll call hi later, we both need a bit more cooling of time I think. Later." He said with a smile and remembered to hold his, or Aaron's body like he normally would.

Victoria said her goodbyes and left.

Robert was alone now but calm. He was more calm than he had been yesterday and earlier today.  
Robert was sitting downm coffeecup with its luke-warm content grasped in his hands. He didn't care. He was thinking.  
Thinking about today and everything that had happened.   
Thinking about what he was going to say to Aaron when he called him and what to say to him when he returned home, because Robert wasn't going out there again.


	8. Aaron's day out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place at the same time as chapter 7: Robert's Day in

Aaron woke up one the sofa at Vic and Adam's place.  
His limbs sore from being curled up in the small sofa.  
The house was quiet and apparently no one else but him was in the house.

When he had turned up at their doorstep, Vic had immediately started asking a bunch of questions, the first one being:  
'What have you done now?'  
Adam had avoided him.  
It all had hurt him a little but he rembered that they saw him as Robert and people, still, reacted that way around Robert. It had gotten better the longer they had been together.  
Aaron avoided answering any of Vic's questions and eventually she had left him alone.

He had trouble falling asleep, mostly due to the size of the sofa but also because he wasn't laying beside his husband.

Aaron needed coffee and turned on the machine.  
He searched the kitchen for cups and found them in the top cupboard.  
Aaron reached up, on his toes, as he usually does when reaching for something in his own home. He discovered that there was no need for him to be on his toes.  
Robert's little extra height made it so that he could get the cup with no problem.  
Aaron smiled to himself and poured the hot liquid in the cup.

He sat in silence thinking about yesterday.  
Maybe he should have called and texted Robert more that he did but Robert's words and actions was still an overreaction.  
Robert wasn't usually like that, not even when they had their regular arguments.

Aaron remembered seeing something familiar in Robert on several occasions yesterday.  
The way Robert's anger and maybe hurt, had taken over. The way Aaron could so easily see that Robert couldn't control it.  
The way Robert looked when he had given up the fight for control and had let his temper take over.  
It was how Aaron used to feel.  
Over the years he had learned to control his temper and anger outbursts was rare these days.  
He knew how his body and head reacted and he knew how to stop it before it went to far or even started.

Aaron let out a breath.

Robert wasn't used to it.  
Robert was usually calm and collected. Aaron knew that and now, these past days he could feel it aswell.  
Aaron realised now that it wasn't only their bodies they had swapped but a bit of their minds aswell.

I this, them being in the wring body didn't stop soon, Aaron knew that he had to gve Robert some pointers on how to ontrol it, deal with it.  
Aaron laughed to himself, the whole situation being so ridiculous and surreal.

He finished his coffee and had a plan t go out in the village before going back to the Mill and Robert.  
Maybe he could find out what had triggered his husband. There had to be something, Aaron was sure of that.

Aaron walked towards the sofa and the small table infront of it, where his, Robert's shirt was.  
Aaron ran a hand down the front of the tight white t-shirt he was wearing, smoothing it out before putting on the flower printed shirt.  
He ran his hands over the front of the t-shirt a couple of more times than necessary.

 

Eventhough he had just finished his cp of coffee at Vic and Adam's, he was still heading towards Bob's.  
He wanted to see if he could get eny clue to as why Robert had reacted the way he did.  
He also just wanted to be outside, he felt trapped inside the house, alone with his thoughts.

 

Aaron was standing behind an unknown woman at Bob's. The woman was clearly not from here. Her lothes to neet and fancy and her high-heels not very practical here.  
She spoke to Bob and he knew then that he was right, her accent very posh.  
Aaron looked down the clothes he was wearing and smoothed it out, he was, aaparently too focused on trying to make Robert look as good as he usually does, that he hadn't noticed that the woman was now standing beside him.  
She whispered in his ear:  
\- "I could help you do that." and smiled suggestively at him.  
Everything about this had taken Aaron by surprise and anger shot through him.  
He looked her in the eyes and gave her the best smug Robert Sugden smile he could muster.  
He lifted his hand, ring right in her face and he walked towards Bob, who was standing behind the desk, trying his hardest to supress a laugh.

\- "What a nerve." Aaron muttered mostly to himself.  
\- "Nice one.. one of the better." Bob said.  
Aaron looked at Bob confused but didn't get firther in to his thoughts before Bob asked him a question.  
\- "Latte..Right?"  
\- "Ye...No.. An Americano, thanks Bob."  
\- "Oh yes, ofcourse. Coming right up."  
Aaron smiled to himself, satisfied at himself.  
He was good at this he thought.

 

Aaron was now standing outside Bob's, americano in his hands.  
He turned his head sligthly and caught his reflection in a window.  
He looked but it wan't his own eyes staring back at him. Aaron let his gaze wander up and down the well known body in front of him and stopped yet again with the eyes. He missed looking in to those eyes.

\- "Hi ya!"  
Aaron jumped a little at the interruption and without looking he knew who it was. His mind said mom and he was too close to saying it out loud.  
\- "Chas."  
He said and felt relief, he could have easily messed that up.

\- "You alright?"  
\- "yeah, good. You?"  
\- "Alright, ta.. Where's Aaron?"  
\- "Uhm, at home, I think."  
Aaron started to shift on his feet.  
\- "You two had row or something?"  
She wasn't asking trying to wind him up, she had a genuine interest. Robert and Chas' relationship had improved over the years and they hardly ever argued. They both understood that they shared a love for Aaron and neither of them had wanted to lose him or make him chose. So they had agreed to try and get along and now they were quite the team when it came to Liv. Both of them thought that Aaron was too soft with her.

\- "Yeah, something like that."  
He replied and looked down to his feet.  
\- "I'll walk with you."  
\- "Don't know where I'm headed."  
\- "Doesn't matter does it."  
She said and gave him a smile.

It was strange talking to his mom like this.

They walked for a while in silence when Chas said:  
\- "Based on the look on you face I'm guessing he told you."

He looked at her, her eyes had a concerned look to them. Aaron hoped she would continue without him having to sau something. Luckily she did.  
\- "Sometimes people just don't know when to shut up.. I mean Nicola got some mouth on her, I wish she would keep it shut.."  
Chas stopped walking and turned to face 'Robert'.  
\- "She shouldn't have said those things, it was way out of line.. It's not like it's any news to her, or others for that matter.. that you're bi, I mean."  
Aaron looked at Chas, he didn't know what was said, but he had an idea. His blood was boiling.  
Chas saw the look on his face.  
\- "oh god.. He didn't tell you? I am sorry, I thought he would have told you."  
\- "What happened?"  
Aaron said, voice stern, trying to keep his emotions under control.  
He felt angry and hurt. He felt rejection of some kind, he knew that it wasn't entirely his own feelings but Robert's aswell.  
They sat down on a bench a little way outside the village. They had walked further than Aaron had realised.  
Chas told him what had happened and what had been said.

Chas put a hand on his shoulder.  
\- "I'm sorry.. People are idiots. I know we have had our moments but that had nothing to do with you being bi.. I hope you know that."  
Aaron felt a lump in his throat and nodded. 

He was glad that Chas and Robert had reahed the point that they could talk as freely as they had just done. Eventhough it was a false Robert so to speak.  
Chas stood up.  
\- "Coming back?"  
She said and nodded in the direction where they came from.  
\- "No, I'm, I'm gionna go for a walk."  
\- "Okay."  
Chas said and walked back to the village.

 

Aaron sat there for a while and he threw his empty cup out in the bin next to the bench.  
He got up and started to walk again. He had no idea where he was going, he just had to move.  
He reached the cricket pavillion and sat down on the stairs.

Robert seemed confident, border on arogant and very sure of himself, but Aaron knew that Robert's sexuality was a sensitive subject.  
They need to talk or rather he needed to get Robert to talk.

He sat for hours at the pavillion, looking at the sky enjoying the fresh air. He had completely lost track of time. Lost in his thoughts.

He got up and walked again. 

He reached outside of the cemetary. He didn't go in, but he stood there and his thoughts went to Jack.  
Alot of Robert's trouble came from Jack. What he had said and what he had done when Robert was younger.

 

It was evening now and he was finally on his way back to the village.  
He needed to see Robert. He needed to be the supporting Robert right now, like Robert had supported him.  
Aaron didn't all or text Robert, he just walked quicklt towards the Mill, hoping that Robert was there.

Aaron walked towards the Mill, feeling a lukewarm thrust of wind swirling around him.  
The leafs on the surrounding trees ratling in the soft wind.

 

..

There was a knock on the door and Robert walked towards their front door.  
He could hear that the door had been opened and he hoped it wasn't Vic, who yet again, had let herself in.  
Robert looked at the open door and stopped. He stood there for a couple of seconds and then continued his path towards the door.  
Aaron was standing in the doorway and Robert was now standing right in front of him.  
They stared in to eachothers eyes.  
The Mill was quiet, the only sound disturbing the silence was the sound of the wind, rattling the trees, sneeking in through the open door.

Their rule about not kissing while they both were like this was forgotten.  
They needed eachother, they both needed the feeling of the other ones embrace.

Robert grabbed Aaron by the shirt and pulled him inside, Aaron closed the door with his foot.

They were standing in the middle of the Mill, the only sounds was the wind creeping in throug the open windows.

Aaron and Robert were stannding chest against chest, their foreheads touching, eyes closed.  
Aaron's hands was on Robert's arms and Robert's hands was resting on the sides of Aaron's hips.  
Standing like this, with their eyes closed, it wasn't like they were in a different body. It all felt like home and like it had always felt like.  
They both opened their eyes at the same time and they were lost in the sight. They didn't feel like they were looking at themselves but they were looking at a perfect merger of their eyes, colours and spark, that contained both of them.  
They didn't need to say anything, they took a deep breath and closed their eyes again. Their lips touched, gentle and loving and first. Then Robert pulled Aaron closer. Their mouths opened and their tounges explored, feeling, tasting, but nothing was new. The kiss was like their kisses always were, good, sincere, passionate.  
Robert's hand wandered lower but Aaron pulled away from the kiss and opened his eyes and held Robert's head in his hands. Robert opened his eyes.  
They knew that it wasn't the right time.  
Aaron took hold of Robert's hand and led him towards the stairs and their bedroom.  
Aaron saw the look on Robert.  
\- "Sleep, Robert, nothing else."  
Robert knew Aaron was right.

Both of them knew that they had a long overdue conversation tomorrow.


End file.
